Starting 2015 was quite difficult for me. Sometimes I get this feeling that the most difficult thing to do is taking the first steps for change. It's definitely something new, something foreign to the usual routine. A little hesitation comes in my mind at times, but I always ask myself, "If I'm not going to do it now, then when? If I do it later, am I close to my goals?", then I figured, I just have to do the things I've planned. I have been delaying things for quite a lot, and I can't say that I'm doing great now, less likely an improvement.
January 1, 2015 was tough because I had to make a decision then and there. My ex called me before midnight, said his greeting and talked to me about some things. The thing is, I told him to not wait for me anymore. I guess it was the right thing to say even if it hurt me a lot. I'm in no position of holding back someone when I know I'm unsure of the things that might happen. I can't predict the future, mine nor his. Even if I want to make sure that I can mend the consequences of my decisions, it would be unfair and selfish. I don't want to hold back somebody's growth and happiness which I think I can't be of much help. People need to grow apart and make their dreams come true, even if it will cost them their relationship.
As of the moment, I am busying myself with my resolution. Two of them I have already took action, but I am hoping that it will be part of my routine. I think it's for the best.
I have been procrastinating when it comes to my plans about getting back to school. I just believe I have to make some steps in taking some kind of preparation before I get busy this June. I've been taking baby steps. I just have to do more.
Some times, I feel low. I know I'm still not doing as well as I was before, but I'm hopeful. It might take a while, but it will be okay.
Wishing you a Happy New Year!
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