Plans Delayed

After some big realizations last year, I was set to do some plans for 2015.  

I'm going back to school.  The thing is, I didn't expect that classes have already started.  I am two weeks late.  I can still enroll though, but the finances are quite tight as of the moment since I have a lot of bills to pay and I need a new air-conditioning system for our shop.  And, I still haven't trained my Aunt on how to handle the shop when I'm away.  Somehow,  I feel bad that I didn't inquire early January about the schedules.  I guess I have to concentrate on the things that I have right now. 

I've written about learning new things before at my other blog.  I have an interest in learning a musical instrument.  Actually I enrolled in one back in college.  I took piano lessons for I think  2 weeks, but wasn't able to finish it because I got busy with my OJT at school (maybe I was procrastinating too).  I did have fun and it feels good to learn new things.  

Right now, I'm considering my most favorite instrument, the saxophone.  The reasons why I didn't enroll for sax lessons are 1) the instrument is expensive, and 2) I was having doubts about myself.  After watching a few youtube tutorial, some of my doubts shed.  I believe I can do it.  It's the only instrument that I would love to learn.  The piano is just an alternative since I can just borrow one if I want to practice at home. 

As of the meantime, I'm finalizing plans, but I'm doing okay with my routines for now.  Hopefully I'd be able to act on my major plans soon. 

Continue reading →

New Songs To Oldies

For the past few days, I've been listening to a bunch of songs, and some of them I just can't help hit the replay button.  These songs are rendition of current hits that are given a twist of jazz, blues, hill billy, doo woop, and mowtown music, music that were popular back in the 20's until 60's.  Thanks to the genius Scott Bradlee and his crew from Postmodern Jukebox, I can listen to new music in old musical arrangement.

I'm a listener to various kinds of genre, but I listen to classic jazz to modern jazz most of the time. I'm a jazz and 80's lover and a fan of other music of the "yesteryears".

Here are my favorites from Postmodern Jukebox:

Continue reading →

Quick Post On Activities

The days are short.  Maybe because I've been busying myself with my new routines.  Sometimes, I still feel the drag during the afternoons since it's the time I get to lull for the day and I'm just left with got nothing to do.

Most of the time, I read articles, blogs, and books while at work.  But I easily get tired when I get to read for a few hours and I want to shift to another activity.  If I'm not reading, I'm either watching a movie or taking my nap.

I want to start a new hobby that I can do just here at work.  Thinking about sewing or embroidery, but most of the time, I'm holding money. I'm thinking about all the dirt and germs that I cross contaminate with every objects that I hold.  So I'm still thinking about other ways to keep me busy.

I'm feeling a little bit better emotionally and mentally, but it's just like day one.  I still have a long way to go for recovery, but I'm positive that I'll be better.

Continue reading →

Mending A Broken Heart

These past few weeks were difficult.  Even though I have a new set of routines, strictly following my schedule (as planned), I still feel that times are tough emotionally and even mentally.  But the thing is, I'm turning things around again.  

Mending.
Photo from driverlayer.com 

I just have to get up and move forward.  Nobody can pick myself up but me.  

I've been reading articles and blogs for the day to help me more on channeling my thoughts for what is right.  I'll just share what I have written on my little black notebook, which I just copied online.  Here are some of them: 

• People can correct or heal only what they are ready to acknowledge, accept, and release -- and no one else can mend your broken heart.  

• You do not need his or her presence, input, or permission to heal your own broken heart.  You are responsible for yourself.  Which means you have to work to do. 

• Let it go.  Rather than tell yourself again and again the sad story about what happened, get clear about who and how you want to be from now on. 

• Focus on what you need and want that will support you in being the person you now chose to be. 

Written by Iyanla Vanzat

Continue reading →

Starting The New Year

Starting 2015 was quite difficult for me.  Sometimes I get this feeling that the most difficult thing to do is taking the first steps for change.  It's definitely something new, something foreign to the usual routine.  A little hesitation comes in my mind at times, but I always ask myself, "If I'm not going to do it now, then when? If I do it later, am I close to my goals?", then I figured, I just have to do the things I've planned.  I have been delaying things for quite a lot, and I can't say that I'm doing great now, less likely an improvement.  

January 1, 2015 was tough because I had to make a decision then and there.  My ex called me before midnight, said his greeting and talked to me about some things.  The thing is, I told him to not wait for me anymore.  I guess it was the right thing to say even if it hurt me a lot.  I'm in no position of holding back someone when I know I'm unsure of the things that might happen.  I can't predict the future, mine nor his.  Even if I want to make sure that I can mend the consequences of my decisions, it would be unfair and selfish.  I don't want to hold back somebody's growth and happiness which I think I can't be of much help.  People need to grow apart and make their dreams come true, even if it will cost them their relationship. 

As of the moment, I am busying myself with my resolution.  Two of them I have already took action, but I am hoping that it will be part of my routine.  I think it's for the best.  

I have been procrastinating when it comes to my plans about getting back to school. I just believe I have to make some steps in taking some kind of preparation before I get busy this June. I've been taking baby steps.  I just have to do more. 

Some times, I feel low.  I know I'm still not doing as well as I was before, but I'm hopeful.  It might take a while, but it will be okay. 

Wishing you a Happy New Year! 

Continue reading →